Coffee Shop un-Etiquette
Faux-Politeness
Make way for the Doordashers!
Walk in, plant yourself in your phone immediately.
Greet customers as esteemed guests in one breath … and then as slight annoyances who need to move on.
Always keep the line moving.
Look scary, cool, disinterested or important.
Bring two hoodies to survive frigid smart-thermometer.
Treat every man like he’s a creeper and every woman like a desired and exciting patron …
Embrace the swivel cash-register screen of shame (tip big or be disgusting)!
Make sure your laptop has 89 stickers plastered on it.
Don’t slow down the line.